Haters!

I'm sitting here, trying to enjoy listening to my iPod, when I come across an article by Skip "Brainless" about LeBron James. This, minutes after I get done arguing with a Michigan fan about how my Buckeyes are better. The numbers don't lie, people. Get over it. Michigan CAN NOT beat Ohio State.

But back to my boy, Skipper. I swear to God Skip Bayless hates Cleveland, and hates LeBron even more. All he ever does is talk smack on them. Why? Who knows. He's a hater. He mentions that even though LeBron dropped 51 on Memphis Tuesday night, he's still not "that good." Really? He is AVERAGING 30 points, 8 assists, and 7 rebounds a game. Yea, you're right, Skip. He's crap. Skip goes on to say that he'll do a hula-dance on top of a table on Cold Pizza if LeBron ever hits a game winner. Hey Skip, did you already forget about those two he hit against Detroit in last year's Eastern Conference Finals? Or the three straight games he hit buzzer-beaters in the 2006 Playoffs against Washington? Or that game-winning three he hit against New Orleans last season? What about that game winning fade against New Jersey two years ago?

You know, it's funny that I seem to remember all of those rather vaguely. Skip can't though? Hey Skip, I have one thing to say to you...KEEP HATING! It's only gonna make LeBron better. Hate all you want.

Speaking of hating, I hate the San Antonio Spurs for what they did to my Cavaliers in the NBA Finals last season. Good thing LeBron and co. are coming to town! Hopefully the Cavs can pull out a win in SA tonight. Until then, maybe I can find some reruns of Saved By The Bell or Degrassi to pass the time. Later folks.

It's rough.

Honestly, people outside of Cleveland sports really don't know what it's like to be truly tortured every season of your life. Regardless of the sport, the outcome is always the same. Disappointment. Heartbreak. Suicide watch. You get the idea. Cleveland hasn't had a professional sports championship since the 1964 Browns. Yea, that's 44 years for those counting. The Indians? Not since '48. The Cavaliers? Never. I say this to everyone out there who's a fan of any team in any city besides Cleveland--you're lucky. No matter what you say about your city, Cleveland's got you beat. Let's take a trip down memory lane.

The Indians. Great team...great misery. 1948 was the last time they won a World Series. Thats 60 years this season. Hey, at least we made it to the World Series in 1995 and 1997. Yea, but we didn't win. 1995 the Atlanta Braves stomped us. 1997 we had the lead in the Bottom of the 9th in Game 7. Then came Jose Mesa. Blew the save, blew the game, blew the Series. Heartbreak. How about this year? Win the Central by 8 games, kill those hated Bronx Bombers in the Divisional Series, and go up 3-games-to-1 on the Boston Red Sox in the ALCS. For once in my life, I thought right then that we were not just going to make it, but we were going to win the World Series. There wasn't a doubt in my mind. Win one of three from Boston, and go to Colorado and crush them. But, Boston saw things differently and won all three games. More heartbreak. There's always next year, right?

The Browns. Where do I start? They were the most dominant team of any decade back in the 1950's and 1960's. 8 Championships in 17 years. Then came along that thing called the Super Bowl. 42 Super Bowls later, my Brownies have never been to one. I'm sure you remember John Elway and The Drive? Or the next season with Earnest Byner's Fumble? Yep, two AFC Championship games, two stunning, heartbreaking defeats to the Denver Broncos. How about 1994? Art Modell decides he's going to move the team to Baltimore. We lost our own football team because our owner was a jackass. More heartbreak. Thank God for Al Learner and his family for keeping the heritage and bringing them back in 1999. Then came the realization that the team we had was terrible. Awful. Pathetic. Wouldn't-beat-Kent State-bad. Then, finally, in 2007 it looked as if we finally had a team that was good, which we do. Only problem? More heartbreak. We finished the season at 10-6, a record not even us Cleveland fans thought was possible. All we needed to happen was have the 13-2 Colts beat the 9-6 Titans. Did I mention heartbreak? Yea, of course the Titans won, and the Browns were left out in the cold. There's always next year, right?

The Cavaliers. Where do I start? Last Championship--Never. The team was so bad in the late 90's-early 00's that the Gund was lucky if 6,000 people showed up for a game. The team was pathetic. But then, for a small moment, there was a glimmer of hope. The Cleveland Cavaliers ping-pong ball bounced the right way, and we got the first pick in the 2003 Draft. You see, there was this kid named LeBron in that draft. That was the best thing to ever happen to Cleveland sports, and now the Cavs are once again an elite basketball team. They just can't win a Championship. Last season, LeBron led the Cavs all the way to the NBA Finals--only to get swept by the San Antonio Spurs. More heartbreak. Oh well, there's always next year, right?

So the next time you think your city has it bad, think about Cleveland. It will remind you that you really don't have it that bad. We do.

Welcome to Believeland, and enjoy the ride folks.