A Waste of a Franchise

You know, I don't blame Art Modell for moving the Cleveland Browns. He must have been psychic or something, because if he knew that this is what the Browns would've amounted to over the past decade and a half, I would've moved them too. And quite frankly, I don't know why anyone in their right mind (Al Lerner) actually wanted to bring the Browns back to Cleveland. They became an expansion team in 1999. They've been in 'rebuilding mode' ever since. 11 seasons, two seasons above .500, zero playoff victories.

Zero playoff victories.

You have to try damn hard--I'm talking Al Davis hard--to go 11 seasons without winning a damn playoff game. And yet 11 is a low number. There's not a chance in hell this team is competing for a playoff berth for AT LEAST the next three seasons (and that's being mighty generous).

I thought when Randy Lerner actually took three seconds away from his beloved English Soccer team to hire Mike Holmgren to run the show that we might actually be going in the right direction with the franchise. Now, either I was completely drunk off my ass to think that, or I was blurred by the fact that he's taken two bad franchises and led them both to the Super Bowl. Hell, if he can turn about those pathetic Packers and Seahawks teams into Super Bowl contenders, he can surely do it with the Cleveland Football Browns, right?

Aaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I'll give him credit. He started out alright. He (supposedly) brought in a smart GM guy in Tom Heckert. He gave Cribbs a few dollars to stick around in Cleveland for at least the next three years. He made some smart off-season moves by bringing in Seneca Wallace, Tony Pashos and Scott Fujita. He got rid of that douche Derek Anderson.

Everything was going good. Moves were being made, and as a Browns fan, you'd look at the moves and say 'hell, those aren't bad moves. I don't wanna jump off a cliff after those moves.'

Then, in typical Cleveland Fucking Browns fashion, things started going downhill. First, Holmgren tosses Jake Delhomme $7 million a season over the next two years. (He didn't wanna pay Cribbs $7 million over three seasons, but he'll give Jake Delhomme $14 million over two seasons? Oh, ok.) Indicating that Jake would obviously be our starting QB for the 2010 season.

Obviously that meant that Quinn would be gone. Again, people, I never thought Quinn was the long-term answer, but he was never given a fair shot. Sure enough, we trade Quinn away. Now, I don't mind trading Quinn, as long as we get more than a twinkie and a gallon of milk for him. Knowing Mike Holmgren is running the show, I figured we'd get something halfway decent.

Aaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

We got a 6th in 2011, a 5th or 6th in 2012, and a WHITE RUNNING BACK. I'll wait while you figure out who the last halfway decent white running back in the NFL was.

Time's up. There's never been one.

And if that wasn't bad enough, less than an hour later The Sammich Man trades away arguably our best linebacker (also a former 1st round pick not long ago), Kamerion Wimbley to Oakland for a 3rd round pick. That's nice.

So in the past two and a half years, the Browns have now traded 1st round picks in the form of Braylon Edwards, Kellen Winslow, Brady Quinn and Kamerion Wimbley in return for garbage, trash, Eric Barton, a white running back and what will undoubtedly be a player that can't even crack the practice squad.

But hey, look on the bright side. We got like 64 draft picks in this years draft! One of them will be a decent player. And he'll be traded in three years for a future 4th round pick, a water boy, and a Chicken Gordita Crunch.

Ahh, the life of a Cleveland Browns fan. It's similar to the Lamb Chops Play Along theme song...it's constant bad moves that never end....it just goes on and on my friends.

Hey, at least we got the Indians Cavaliers.

What's that on your face? MY BLOG!

You know, I haven't talked much about Cleveland sports lately, because, quite frankly, there's been nothing good to talk about.  And reading a full entry about how much I hate Cleveland sports has gotten pretty redundant.  I could talk about how terrible the Indians roster has become, but as you and I both know, that's been done quite a few times recently.  I could talk about how pathetic the Cleveland Browns are, but that's been done since the opening of this blog.  I could talk about how much I hate Eric Mangini's thought process, but I don't need to write about that for you to know exactly how I feel (assuming you're a Cleveland fan--if not, congratulations).  The only thing good about the Cleveland sports scene is that the Cavaliers start up on Tuesday.  Of course I'm excited, but let's be realistic.  As good as the Cavs could be this year, they're still a Cleveland team.  So to expect anything other than a letdown/failure/misery would be ridiculous.  

Do I think the Cavs can win a championship?  Of course I do.  Will they?  Doubt it.  The only way I see them winning it all is if either a.) The Spurs somehow knock off the Lakers in the west or b.) Ron Artest goes nuts and tears the Lakers entire organization apart.  And that's still assuming we get through Boston and/or Orlando in the East.  It's not very likley--mainly because the Cavaliers reside in Cleveland, Ohio.  The city that God undoubtedly hates more than any other city in America.

 Oh, and on the Browns...I still can't wrap my head around why:

A.) We traded Kellen Winslow in the off-season, and Braylon Edwards recently for garbage and trash.

B.) Mr. 2-for-17 for 23 yards and an INT is still starting for us.  Any quarterback that actually puts up a stat-line like that should be immediately banished from professional football for the rest of his life.

C.) Eric Mangini feels it's necessary to fine a player $1,763 for not paying for a $2 bottle of water in a hotel room on a road trip.

D.) Randy Lerner is such a worthless pile of crap and refuses to give a contract extension to the ONLY play-maker the Cleveland Football Browns still have left on the team. (Joshua Cribbs)

E.) I'm still a Browns fan.

You know, I was gonna buy tickets for the Browns/Packers game tomorrow and head down to Cleveland...and then it hit me.  The best part of doing that would undoubtedly be the pre-game parties in the Muni-lot.  That's sad.

I leave you with this....one of the greatest faux-blogs in the history of blogging.  It's a must-read for anyone who has a sense of humor.

The Life and Times of K-Smoove

Man, how things change in 17 months.

Exactly 17 months ago today, the Cleveland Indians embarked on the 2008 MLB season. They were coming off a season where they were one win away from the World Series, and expectations were huge. Most, if not all of the so called 'experts' felt that the Indians were poised to go on a run similar to the one in the mid-'90's. Cleveland Indians dominance. Most of us fans felt the same way as well. Just 17 months later, the Indians are a team without a direction. They don't have many stars left. They don't have many fans that still get down to Progressive Field on a daily basis. They don't have an owner who is willing to even spend $1.50 on a copy of the Cleveland Plain Dealer Sunday Edition for the clubhouse. They don't have a plan for 2010. They don't have much. How did it get so bad, so fast? It's tough to say. But one thing has stayed the same...the Dolans still own the Indians, and the Dolans still won't let the Indians ever be competitive on a yearly basis. Unless the Tribe start off the season on a ridiculous hot streak, and are in 1st place at the All-Star break, the Dolans will do everything in their power to get rid of as many higher-priced contracts on the team. Anyways, back to the main point. I want to talk about the differences 17 months have made for the Cleveland Indians. Let's take a look at the starting lineup on Opening Day 2008 for the Tribe.

1. Grady Sizemore, CF
2. Jason Michaels, LF
3. Travis Hafner, DH
4. Victor Martinez, C
5. Jhonny Peralta, SS
6. Ryan Garko, 1B
7. Asdrubal Cabrera, 2B
8. Franklin Gutierrez, RF
9. Casey Blake, 3B

CC Sabathia was the starter. The other starters were Fausto Carmona, Jake Westbrook, Paul Byrd and Cliff Lee. Main guys out of the bullpen were Jensen Lewis, Rafael Betancourt, Rafael Perez, Tom Mastny and Joe Borowski.

Now, I'm not gonna sit here and say that team was stacked. Far from it. But we had incredible pitching, an incredible bullpen, and four guys towards the top of the lineup who could rake.

Fast forward 17 months, and lets take a look at the current Cleveland Indians. I'll bold players that are still on the team that played in Opening Day 2008, and bold their positions if they still play that position. Tonight's lineup read:

1. Grady Sizemore, CF
2. Asdrubal Cabrera, SS
3. Shin-Soo Choo, DH
4. Jhonny Peralta, 3B
5. Luis Valbuena, 2B
6. Matt LaPorta, RF
7. Andy Marte, 1B
8. Kelly Shoppach, C
9. Michael Brantley, LF

Our starter tonight was Carlos Carrasco, and the other four starters in the rotation consist of Fausto Carmona, Aaron Laffey, Jeremy Sowers and David Huff. Main guys out of the bullpen are Joe Smith, Chris Perez, Tony Sipp, Justin Masterson and Kerry Wood.

Alright. So here's 20 guys on this current Indians roster that are, more or less, everyday starters. Aside from Choo getting the night to DH and give Brantley a start in his outfield place, not much would change day-to-day aside from Hafner getting in the DH spot.

20 players mentioned. 5 of them were on the Indians Opening Day 2008 roster. That means in 17 months, 75% of the Indians that were there on April 1, 2008 are no longer with the team. Seventy-Five Percent. Think about that for a second. Grady Sizemore in center field and Fausto Carmona as a starting pitcher are the only two players on the Indians roster that haven't changed a thing since Opening Day 2008. You can do the math.

When 90% of your team is changed within 17 months, how do you really expect to win ballgames on a consistent basis?

17 months ago I was sitting in front of my TV getting ready to watch the Cleveland Indians start the long journey that I figured could possibly end in a World Series. I was getting ready to watch the beginning of a new Indians dynasty. 17 months later I'm watching a team with no identity, no direction, and not much potential for the near future.

Man, how things change in 17 months.

Take a step back in time....

Let's revisit an old blog post.....circa July 28, 2008. My comments will be bolded after the old stuff.

"First off, let me start by saying the Cleveland Indians drive me absolutely nuts. One year later, they still do.

One of these days, I'm just going to stop torturing myself. I mean, why am I still watching these games? The Tribe are done for the year. One year later, I still continue to watch them, and still realize that, yet again, they are done for the year.

Yet I still find myself sitting in front of the TV, watching Ryan Garko suck every night. It must be a disease or something. I don't know how else to explain it. Wow. I wish I could watch Ryan Garko suck every night. Instead, he got traded and replaced with Andy Marte, who is even worse.

• Who's next? CC, then Casey Blake. I'm sure Shapiro isn't done yet. Haha, if I only knew.
  
• Ben Francisco is terrible. Every game, you are guaranteed that at least one of his at bats will result in a pop-up in the infield. Yea, well, he still does that. I don't care that he's gone.
  
• Ryan Garko is a joke. Seriously? Every single game....0-4, 2 Strikeouts. Time to go, meatball. I miss Ryan Garko.
  
• Paul Byrd needs to get the hell out of Cleveland. I don't know who would want him, but he needs to go. Anywhere. How in the HELL did Paul Byrd get signed by the Red Sox last year? What were they thinking?
  
• Fausto Carmona is starting to look like the pitcher who went 1-10 two seasons ago. Which one is the real Fausto? Uhh...the crappy one is the real one.
  
• David Dellucci shouldn't get another at bat the rest of the season. If you want to find out what you have in these young guys, why keep playing Dellucci? Well, that's how Wedge rolls. What else explains why, ONE YEAR LATER, Matt LaPorta is STILL in AAA-ball? At least Dellucci is gone.
  
• Andy Marte doesn't look that bad. He's bad, but not terribly bad. Haha. Was I drunk?
  
• Kelly Shoppach has proven, with V-Mart out for so long, that he deserves to play more than once a week. It wouldn't be a bad idea to put Victor at first more and more when he comes back, and keep Shop in the lineup more often. Besides, Garko sucks. So get him out of the lineup by putting Victor at first. Worst idea EVER. Shoppach is the biggest pile of junk I've ever seen behind the plate. Again, what was I thinking?
  
• Jhonny Peralta is thriving in the cleanup spot. He's been hitting the ball real well ever since he was moved there. I say keep him there--for good. Put Victor 3rd, and let Hafner hit 5th--if he ever comes back. Jhonny is still my favorite Indian. Why? No clue. But I like him. And he's raking again.
  
• We still need a second baseman. Jamey Carroll is bad. Asdrubal Cabrera is bad. Josh Barfield is bad. Asdrubal is the future...he was just playing bad at this post last year.
  
• When is Matt LaPorta going to be sent up? Since the season is already over, you might as well bring him up in September to get some at bats. Even if he hits .090, it doesn't matter. The season is already over. Never. That's when.
  
• K-Rod anyone? Hey Shapiro...PAY HIM WHATEVER HE WANTS. We haven't had a closer in over 10 years. Kobayashi isn't the answer. Neither of the Rafael's are the answer. Joe Borowski sure as hell wasn't the answer. Francisco Rodriguez is the answer. Hahahaha. Shapiro spend money? Not ever. No way. FYI, Kerry Wood wasn't the answer, either.
  
• Who in the hell is going to be in the rotation next year? The only sure things are Cliff Lee and Fausto Carmona. Byrd will (hopefully) be gone, and Sowers and Laffey are pitching terrible. What does that leave? Let's answer that question...Fausto Carmona, Aaron Laffey, Carl Pavano, Jeremy Sowers, David Huff. Oh yea. A starting rotation that could be competetive--in High School ball.
  
• I've been saying this for two years now--Trevor Crowe needs to be in Cleveland. Playing in Akron isn't doing the kid any good. He rakes in Akron. He's the leadoff hitter the Indians need. Then, Sizemore can move down in the batting order, and produce more runs for this team. Crowe is a base burner. Yea...too bad Trevor Crowe is garbage in Cleveland.
  

Well, that's about it for the evening. Preseason football officially kicks off a week from Thursday. I can't wait. Maybe, just maybe, the Browns can finally do something special. "

Hahahahahahahaahahahaha. Seriously. I must have been tanked. The Browns do something good? Not ever.

Ahhh, how much I love being a Cleveland fan.

Witness Protection!

So the Cleveland Cavaliers traded for Shaquille O'Neal. WOW. I can't believe a Cleveland team actually traded FOR a superstar, instead of trading away a superstar. It's a nice breath of fresh air for a Cleveland team. It'll be interesting to see what the Cavs can do with Shaq. We couldn't get through Orlando because no one could stop Dwight Howard. The Lakers won the championship because they have big guys...this was a move that had to be made. Plus, we gave up Ben Wallace (garbage) and Sasha Pavlovic (trash) to get a future Hall-of-famer. Can't really beat a deal like that, can ya? Hopefully Shaq is willing to play second fiddle to LeBron, and hopefully Shaq will do everything he can to bring a championship to Cleveland.

It's funny...right when I was just about to give up on even the Cavaliers (you know, the only Cleveland team that actually has any chance of winning a championship in the near future), they reel me back in. Hopefully this shows LeBron that the Cavs front office is willing to do whatever it takes to build the best team possible, and LeBron will want to stick around for a long time. Only time will tell.

I'm already ready for basketball season. Let's get it crackin'.