This is the song that never ends....

Remember Lambchop's Play-a-long? Yea, you know you do. That theme song reminds me of the Cleveland Browns season. Every year, it's the same damn thing.

Man, I'm glad we got all that hype in the off-season. Clearly we're contenders, I mean, hell, we only lost by 18 to Dallas. We only gave up almost 500 yards on defense.

Phil Savage is a hell of a GM, but he needs to suck up his pride on this one. Our secondary couldn't slow down two 80-year old women at this rate. He needs to either give up our 2nd next year to get Lito Sheppard, or he needs to just pay Ty Law whatever the hell he's demanding, and get one of them in ASAP! If our secondary stays the way it is, we won't win a single game.

Oh, did I mention it's Steelers Week?

[sarcasm] Couldn't have come at a better time. [/sarcasm]

I'm done. Come Sunday night, I could be on suicide watch...it all depends on how the Buckeyes do against the Trojans, and how the Browns do against Shittsburgh.

The Legendary Ken Dorsey.

After watching yet another Browns ass-whooping, handed to them this time by the Detroit Lions, it's time to admit it, Romeo. Ken Dorsey is the answer. Do you not remember what he did at The U? He dominated back in his Miami days. That alone should be reason enough to start Dorsey over Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson. Do we need to take a trip down memory lane?

He was a Heisman Trophy finalist in 2001 AND 2002. Who else has done that lately? Darren McFadden? Dorsey is a beast.

He took the Hurricanes to the 2001 and 2002 National Championships. Which, of course he won the first one, and of course he lost the second, because he played the Buckeyes. So he gets a pass on that one.

He was 38-2 as Miami's starting quarterback in his career. It's not unlikely to think he wouldn't do that again in Cleveland. In fact, he'd probably better that record as the Browns starter.

He owns Miami passing records for total offense, passing yards, passing TD's, pass completions, pass attempts, victories as a starting QB, winning percentage for a QB, 200-yard passing performances, consecutive passes without an INT, consecutive games with a TD pass, and TD passes in a game. What does that mean? Ken Dorsey is a WINNER.

Plus, I didn't even mention his last two preseason games with the Browns. Combined, in the two, in limited action, he is 22-for-33, with 234 passing yards, 1 TD, and zero INT's. He's a monster.

What more do I need to say? Ken Dorsey. The Man, The Myth, The Legend.

Oh, snap.

It's been a while. Time to do some catching up.

Let's see....Paul Byrd was traded to the Red Sox. Good. Mo Williams got traded to the Cavs. For Joe Smith and Damon Jones! Damn...that might be the steal of the century. We gave up a couple bench guys for a stud point guard? Go Danny Ferry! Hopefully he isn't done. Hopefully he continues to try and tweak the roster the best way possible, and make this team a title contender. It looks like Hafner and Victor will be back soon, seeing as they are both in AAA Buffalo on rehab starts, so that's a good sign. Also, the Indians are finally out of the basement in the AL Central. Reason for celebration, lol.

Now, onto the Browns. First, those brown pants they wore tonight--terrible. Don't ever bust those out again. Those were pretty damn bad. Next, I can't believe how bad the 1st team Offense and Defense looked. 30-3 with the 1st team in? Damn. That's pretty damn bad. Oh well, at least it was only preseason. Besides, the 1st teamers looked good against the Jets last week. We'll see how they do on Saturday against the Lions.

Next up, the injuries. Those are never good. Braylon is out with his foot gash--hopefully he's back for the last preseason game. And just tonight, Brodney Pool suffered a concussion, Josh Cribbs tweaked his ankle, and DA suffered a (possible) concussion. That's not good.

It looks like Cribbs' injury is pretty minor, but hopefully DA and Brodney will be back in time for next Thursday's game against the Bears. If not, hopefully worse case scenario is that they're back in time for Dallas in Week One.

Other than that, not much else to discuss regarding the Cleveland sports scene. I'm just ready for baseball season to be over, football season to start, and basketball season to get training camp underway. I'm sick of watching the Indians lose every night.


Maybe one of these days they'll put together a winning streak. Ahh, reminds me of that movie, Major League.

"All right people, we won yesterday. Now, if we win today, that'll be two in a row. And if we win tomorrow, do you know what that's called? That's called a winning streak. Let's try it one of these years."

Tribe Thoughts....

First off, let me start by saying the Cleveland Indians drive me absolutely nuts.

One of these days, I'm just going to stop torturing myself. I mean, why am I still watching these games? The Tribe are done for the year.

Yet I still find myself sitting in front of the TV, watching Ryan Garko suck every night. It must be a disease or something. I don't know how else to explain it.

• Who's next? CC, then Casey Blake. I'm sure Shapiro isn't done yet.
• Ben Francisco is terrible. Every game, you are guaranteed that at least one of his at bats will result in a pop-up in the infield.
  
• Ryan Garko is a joke. Seriously? Every single game....0-4, 2 Strikeouts. Time to go, meatball.
• Paul Byrd needs to get the hell out of Cleveland. I don't know who would want him, but he needs to go. Anywhere.
• Fausto Carmona is starting to look like the pitcher who went 1-10 two seasons ago. Which one is the real Fausto?
• David Dellucci shouldn't get another at bat the rest of the season. If you want to find out what you have in these young guys, why keep playing Dellucci?
• Andy Marte doesn't look that bad. He's bad, but not terribly bad.
• Kelly Shoppach has proven, with V-Mart out for so long, that he deserves to play more than once a week. It wouldn't be a bad idea to put Victor at first more and more when he comes back, and keep Shop in the lineup more often. Besides, Garko sucks. So get him out of the lineup by putting Victor at first.
• Jhonny Peralta is thriving in the cleanup spot. He's been hitting the ball real well ever since he was moved there. I say keep him there--for good. Put Victor 3rd, and let Hafner hit 5th--if he ever comes back.
• We still need a second baseman. Jamey Carroll is bad. Asdrubal Cabrera is bad. Josh Barfield is bad.
  
• When is Matt LaPorta going to be sent up? Since the season is already over, you might as well bring him up in September to get some at bats. Even if he hits .090, it doesn't matter. The season is already over.
• K-Rod anyone? Hey Shapiro...PAY HIM WHATEVER HE WANTS. We haven't had a closer in over 10 years. Kobayashi isn't the answer. Neither of the Rafael's are the answer. Joe Borowski sure as hell wasn't the answer. Francisco Rodriguez is the answer.
  
• Who in the hell is going to be in the rotation next year? The only sure things are Cliff Lee and Fausto Carmona. Byrd will (hopefully) be gone, and Sowers and Laffey are pitching terrible. What does that leave?
• I've been saying this for two years now--Trevor Crowe needs to be in Cleveland. Playing in Akron isn't doing the kid any good. He rakes in Akron. He's the leadoff hitter the Indians need. Then, Sizemore can move down in the batting order, and produce more runs for this team. Crowe is a base burner.

Well, that's about it for the evening. Preseason football officially kicks off a week from Thursday. I can't wait. Maybe, just maybe, the Browns can finally do something special.

Hey Carson Palmer, shut the hell up.

Hey Carson...guess what? You're a complete and total moron. Let's think about something. You play in Cincinnati, Ohio. Which is, what, 30 miles from Columbus, Ohio? Let's think about that. Almost every person that goes to a Bengals game is an OHIO STATE BUCKEYES FAN. And you have enough balls to say something like this?

I cannot stand the Buckeyes. It's amazing to hear what those guys think about that university and what they think about that football program and Tressel and all the crap I gotta put up with being back there.

I just can't wait for two years from now when SC comes to the 'Shoe and hopefully we'll have a home game that weekend, and I can go up there and watch us pound on them in their own turf.

I'm really getting sick of it, and I just can't wait for this game to get here so they can come out to the Coliseum and experience LA and get an old-fashioned Pac-10 butt-whoopin' and go back to the Big Ten.

You think Bengals fans hate Chad Johnson? Think again. You're probably public enemy number one. I think it's funny, because last time I checked, USC hasn't made a title game the last two years--but the BUCKEYES have.

Oh, and another thing, Carson...get over yourself. You have to talk out like this, because no one gives two damns about you. The Browns are better than your Bengals, and the Buckeyes are better than your USC Trojans.

Man, it must suck to be Carson Palmer right now.

Thanks for the Memories, C.C.

The news just broke on ESPNews about 5 minutes ago. It's official--C.C. Sabathia is a Milwaukee Brewer. You know, I find myself watching the movie Major League all the time, and it's one of those movies that really is true--when the Indians are struggling, they really are in trouble. But when they're winning, it's almost magical. The vibe around the ballpark, the "magic" that surrounds the late inning comebacks--it's one of the best things in the world. Last year, it seemed as if the Indians were finally going to do it, finally win a World Series. They were one win away from making it, and there's no doubt in most people's minds that they would have won it if they were in it.


I remember sitting in Pronkville at The Jake last September for a game against the Detroit Tigers. We were close to clinching the division, and the vibe in the ballpark was incredible. Packed house, signs hanging from the rafters, crazy fans, everything. It was one of the best games I've ever been to, because I had never been so excited for a baseball game. C.C. was pitching, and he was dominant, like usual. He owned the Tigers, and that game really knocked the Tigers out of contention and pushed the Tribe into the Playoffs for the first time in 7 years.

It just seemed--at the time--that the Indians could do no wrong. Even if they were down by 4 in the bottom of the 9th, there was that "Jacobs Field Magic" that was always there in the late '90's. It was almost as if they were invincible, and that was only 10 months ago. I never thought I'd have to be saying the things I am about the Indians this year, but that's how baseball works. 10 months ago, the Indians looked like a team that would contend for not only the division, but championships for quite a few years. Everyone was hitting good, our pitching was amazing, our bullpen was incredible. This year, nothing's gone right. No one can hit (besides Sizemore), our bullpen is terrible, and our starters are hurt. Now, one of the best Cleveland Indians of all time has been shipped out. Sure, we got Matt LaPorta, who's supposed to be the next Ryan Braun, Jay Bruce, etc. I hope he is. I hope he hits a walk-off in Game 7 of the World Series in a few years and becomes a hero. Either way, it still sucks that C.C. is gone. He loved Cleveland, and Cleveland loved him. Now, he's off to Milwaukee. I just hope the Brewers fans respect him the way we did.

Thank you Carsten Charles Sabathia. Cleveland appreciates everything you've done for us for the past 8 years. You're always welcome back.

Playoff Time!

Looks like the Cleveland Gladiators have made the AFL Playoffs. Sweet! The first game will be next Monday (the 30th), in Cleveland against the Orlando Predators. The Gladiators already beat the Predators by three touchdowns earlier this season at home, so hopefully the trend can continue. Raymond Philyaw and Otis Amey are going to need to keep hooking up for TD's on a consistent basis if the Gladiators want to make a deep run in the Playoffs. Also, the defense is going to have to step up--just like they did Saturday night against the Columbus Destroyers. They held them on quite a few 4th downs to cause turnovers.

On another topic, the Tribe lost again today, again because Paul Byrd doesn't know how to pitch like a Major Leaguer. I don't know how much more I can take of this bum pitching for us every five days. He's now "improved" his numbers to 3-8 on the season, with a beautiful 5.21 ERA. This guy is terrible. If the Indians want to have any shot at sticking around in the AL Central, Paul Byrd needs to get the hell away. Speaking of pitching, did you happen to see C.C. Sabathia's MONSTER HOME RUN yesterday? He hit a tape-measure 440 foot shot out of the stadium. Yep, you read that right. From a pitcher.

Well, the NBA Draft is Thursday, so I'll be back that evening, complaining about how dumb Cavaliers management is for drafting whoever they take. Who knows--maybe they'll surprise me and actually draft someone who can help the team out.

Come on, Gladiators!

Yep, I've lowered my standards this time of year. All that's going on is Indians baseball, and quite frankly, that's enough to kill a man. One weekend remains in the Arena Football League before the Playoffs. Bernie Kosar's Cleveland Gladiators sit at 8-7, one win away from making the Playoffs. Playoffs? Playoffs? Don't talk about...playoffs!

Yep, I'm talking playoffs. All they have to do is beat their interstate rivals, the Columbus Destroyers and they're in. Did I mention that Columbus is 3-12? Yep. So the Gladiators should win and make the playoffs. However, they are still a football team in Cleveland, so anything is possible. Raymond Philyaw, Quarterback for the Gladiators is having a great season. Over 4,000 yards, 77 TD's, and only 10 INT's. Marlion Jackson leads the AFL in rushing, and Otis Amey leads the league in receiving TD's with 48. They have a good team, so hopefully they get in. It'll be cool to see how far they can go, before disappointment sets in.

On another note, don't forget to watch the Indians get steam-rolled tonight in Colorado. Paul Byrd is pitching. Ugh.

Well, this season is over.

It's pretty much official now. The 2008 Cleveland Indians are probably a few weeks away from dismantling the team that was one win away from the World Series last year. They sit at 31-36, 6 1/2 games out of 1st in the AL Central. I know that doesn't seem like much--and it really isn't--but at the same time, look at the team.

C.C. Sabathia is gone at the end of the year--might as well get some guys for him before he leaves for nothing.

Jake Westbrook is hurt for the rest of the season. Tommy John surgery. Not good.

Travis Hafner is on the DL. Victor Martinez is having elbow surgery, and headed for a long DL stint. Fausto Carmona is still on the DL for at least close to another month. Josh Barfield just went on the DL yesterday because of his hand.

Add all that up, and it's going to be near impossible to continue to win on a daily basis. Take those guys out, and let's look at the batting lineup and starting rotation.

PROJECTED EVERYDAY LINEUP:

1. Grady Sizemore CF

2. Jamey Carroll 2B

3. Ben Francisco LF

4. Ryan Garko 1B

5. Jhonny Peralta SS

6. David Dellucci DH

7. Casey Blake 3B

8. Shin Soo Choo/Franklin Gutierrez RF

9. Kelly Shoppach C

Well, that lineup doesn't look real productive. Bench players are even worse (See: Andy Marte.) And the rotation? (Because of off-days it's all mixed up, but you get the point.)

1. C.C. Sabathia

2. Paul Byrd

3. Aaron Laffey

4. Jeremy Sowers

5. Cliff Lee

Let's see. One proven ace who's playing his last season with the Tribe (C.C.). One washed up righty who throws batting practice (Byrd). One young lefty who is turning into a great pitcher (Laffey). A young righty who gets rocked every time he starts (Sowers). And lastly, one of the best in baseball right now (Lee).

The pitching has to anchor this team for at least a month, if the Indians want to stay in this race, and try and get to the Playoffs. If they don't, the team will probably have a firesale of sorts, shipping out guys like Byrd, Sabathia, Blake, Borowski, etc.

Here's hoping the SP's keep dealing, C.C. sticks around, and these young'ns start hitting the ball like All-Stars.

Non-Cleveland Ramblings...

I know, this is a Cleveland Blog. Everything should be about Cleveland. Well, I'm sick of Cleveland for the moment, and wanted to talk about anything that floats my boat. So here we go.

Random thoughts for 6/3/2008:

1. Marc-Andre Fleury was amazing for the Pittsburgh Penguins last night. 55 saves? The Pens had no reason to win that game, but Fleury kept them in it long enough to keep the series going.
2. Petr Sykora is the new Babe Ruth. Towards the middle of the 2nd OT, Sykora told one of NBC's reporters that he was going to score the game winner. And what happened midway through the 3rd OT? Sykora scored the game winner.
3. I think the Penguins still don't have a snowballs chance in hell at beating the Red Wings for the Stanley Cup.
4. That's enough hockey talk for about a year.
5. The Indians still play bad. Whoops, there I go again.
6. Kenny Chesney puts on a better concert than anyone in the world, guaranteed.
7. Go see Kenny in concert if you ever get the chance. You won't be dissapointed.
8. The Chicago Cubs are going to win the World Series. This year.
9. Did anyone else watch the ACM's? How sweet was that Taylor Swift performance in the rain? Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn.
10. The COT sucks. NASCAR races are so boring anymore.
11. Speaking of boring, it's Pocono this weekend. The most boring racing of the year annually, and now we're gonna add the COT to the mix? It's gonna get even worse. I'd probably rather watch paint dry.
12. Bear Grylls is the most insane person in the world. Some of the stuff you see on Man vs. Wild is rediculous.
13. Time Warner Cable still has the worst customer service in the world.
14. Knocked Up is one of the few movies I can sit through over and over--and still laugh my ass off everytime.
15. A year later, I'm still irritated by the ending of The Sopranos.
16. I used to hate on him, but I've come to the realization that Kobe Bryant is the man. I hope he crushes the Celtics. And yes, he's better than LeBron by a ton.
17. Is it football season yet?

I'm sick of this.

One of these years, it's bound to all gel perfectly. It has to. It's been 44 years and counting. The Browns, Cavaliers, or Indians have got to win a Championship eventually. Don't they?

I don't know how much more of this crap I can take. Every year, regardless of the team, there's major letdown. How can three teams be so close, yet at the same time, so very far away?

What's next?

Anyways, here are my thoughts on yet another disappointing finish to a Cleveland Cavaliers season...

• Mike Brown is still a terrible coach, who doesn't understand the concept of "offense."
• You know, one of these days, free throw shooting would be a nice concept to learn.
• Another season of having LeBron James, and another season of not winning a Championship.
• The roster was a joke. Hey Danny Ferry--DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.
• The Boston Celtics are also a joke. Detroit will kill them.
• Just once, could we limit turnovers to under 20 a game?
• Is Mike Brown fired yet?
• Draft A.J. Abrams with the 19th pick in the 2008 NBA Entry Draft.
• Larry Hughes was better than Wally Szczerbiak.
• I'm sick of hearing "There's always next year."
• Last thought--Cleveland, Ohio is indeed cursed.
  

Seriously?

For real. Two games into the Boston series, and two straight terrible, pathetic, sickening, downright disgusting performances by LeBrick James.

Hey, LeBron. Are you getting paid off, or what? 2-for-18, followed up by a 6-for-24 performance? 17 turnovers in 2 games?

Don't even bother showing up Saturday in Cleveland. Clearly, you have better things to get around to this May besides playing "basketball."

You can't even say Boston's defense is the reason you're struggling. Detroit's defense in last years Eastern Conference Finals was much tougher than this Boston defense.

Well, after we get swept, maybe one good thing can come from this....Mike Brown might finally get fired for being such a worthless coach.

That's all I got. The Cavs aren't even worth my time tonight.

Bring on Boston!

Well, the Atlanta Hawks couldn't do the unimaginable and knock out the Boston Celtics. Looks like it's our turn at the NBA's best. They were 66-16 in the regular season, so it's not gonna be easy. Hell, it's gonna be near impossible. But if Wally, Gibson, and Delonte keep playing like they have been, anything is possible. Plus, Boston couldn't win a single came on the road in Atlanta in the First Round. So hopefully we can steal one in Boston, and win all the home games to pull the upset.

I'm just glad we're done with that disgrace-to-the-NBA Washington Wizards team. That team is a joke, with a bunch of guys who talk way too much smack, and play dirty. It feels good seeing the Cavs knock those clowns out of the Playoffs--for the THIRD straight year.

Tuesday night, Game One. In Boston.

It's time to RISE UP and BRING IT!

Now, onto something else. The Cleveland Indians. They continue to amaze me with their crappyness. This team is so stinkin' bad, it's not even funny anymore. The lineup can barely score one run a game anymore, and have been shutout in two of their last four games. Not to mention, one was to the Royals. Yes, the Kansas City Royals.

• Travis Hafner can't hit worth a damn.
  
• Jhonny Peralta strikes out three times a night.
  
• Casey Blake is hitting .200.
  
• Asdrubal Cabrera is hitting below .200.
  
• Ryan Garko has one hit in the past 10 games.
  
• Victor Martinez apparently lost any power he once had.
  
• Franklin Gutierrez gets a hit every three games.
  
• The left field of Jason Michaels and David Delucci is a joke.

Yee haw. And what could be better than having to travel to the Bronx and play at the legendary Yankee Stadium for possibly the last time, when the bats are doing nothing? Haha. We might officially be in trouble.

Good thing it's early.

BLOW THE WHISTLE!

So much for DeShawn Stevenson's trash-talking. Now, even Jay-Z wrote a song on that bum.

I wonder how DeShawn Stevenson's feeling?



GO CAVS!!!!!

My theory on C.C.

First things first...I know C.C. Sabathia is a stud. Now that that's out of the way, here's some possible trades that would make sense for Cleveland. Look, we all know C.C. is going to get a contract worth probably $150 million. And Cleveland can't afford that. I'd love for him to stay, but assuming he won't (which there's a 99% chance he won't), we might as well get something for him, rather than nothing, right?

Alright....here we go.

Trade 1: C.C., Chuck Lofgren and Ben Francisco to the Diamondbacks for Micah Owings and Justin Upton.
Could you imagine? Haren/Webb/Sabathia? Holy crap. The D-Backs would never lose. Here's my reasoning...Owings is a good, young pitcher. He's got good stuff. And Justin Upton? Arizona will never let him go, but he's exactly what we need out in left field.

Trade 2: C.C. and Jhonny Peralta to Florida for Scott Olsen and Hanley Ramirez.
Alright, I know this is a stretch, but Hanley is my favorite player in baseball, and he'd be awesome in Cleveland. Plus, Scott Olsen has tremendous upside. Scott Olsen is young, and he has some pretty nasty stuff, when he's on. And Hanley? He's the best player in baseball not named Alex Rodriguez.

Trade 3: C.C. and Franklin Gutierrez to Milwaukee for Ben Sheets and Ryan Braun.
Only reason for this one--we need a left fielder bad. I don't care how bad he is on defense, we need some power from left field. And if Sheets would ever be healthy, he'd be a stud in the AL.

Look, I know none of them are even possible, but hey, a man can dream, right?

This is a PSA...

***PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT***

Cliff Lee is the man.

What, you haven't noticed?

• 4-0.
• ERA of 0.28.
• 29 K's.
• Only 2 walks.
• 31.2 Innings Pitched.
• ONE Earned Run.

That is all.

The proverbial "shit" has hit the fan.

It's official. The Indians are a joke.

How did this happen? They were supposed to be one of--if not the--best team in baseball. Now they're 5-10, tied for 2nd worst in the league?

Let's take a quick look at the roster, shall we?

Starting Pitchers:
C.C. Sabathia-Overweight, twinkie-eating piece of crap. 0-3 with an ERA above 11? Really, C.C.? Good thing you passed on the 18 million a year we offered you....because you won't get half that if you keep pitching like this.
Fausto Carmona-Ace of the staff. Walking far too many guys, but still a tank.
Cliff Lee-Pitching like the guy who won 18 games two years ago. No problems here.
Jake Westbrook-Also pitching like the guy who won 15 games two years ago. Studly so far.
Paul Byrd-HGH usin', old ass pile of dung. Paul Byrd pitches batting practice.

Overall, 3 out of 5 are decent, but Westbrook and Lee are still real sketchy.

Bullpen:
Rafael Betancourt-New closer. Was lights out all last year, struggled a bit so far this year, but appears to be turning the corner.
Craig Breslow-Who is this guy? I've only seen him pitch a few games, but I'm not impressed.
Jorge Julio-Waste of money. Old ass who couldn't cut it in BALTIMORE. Why is he here?
Masa Kobayaski-Go back to Japan. Every outing he gives up at least two runs. He's garbage.
Jensen Lewis-Always liked the guy. Crazy delivery, but it seems to work.
Rafael Perez-Another stud reliever, like Betancourt, but has struggled a little bit this year. Not worried, he'll get it turned around.
Joe Borowski-Biggest piece of crap on the team. One of MLB's worst closers. I couldn't be more thrilled that he's on the DL. Hopefully he'll NEVER close a game again.

Overall, 3 out of 7 are decent. Two are studs. (Both Rafey's.) The rest? Send them to Buffalo.

Starting Lineup:
Grady Sizemore-Strikes out way too much, but other than that, one of the best leadoff hitters in the game. Can't complain about a guy who's a five-tool stud.
Asdrubal Cabrera-Sophomore slump anyone? Hitting under .200. Hopefully he can turn it around, otherwise, I'd rather see Josh Barfield.
Travis Hafner-Looks to be coming around, but still isn't hitting the ball too good. Hitting under .270 isn't good for Pronk.
Victor Martinez-Best catcher in baseball. Sees the ball better than almost anyone in the game. Beast.
Jhonny Peralta-He can hit for power, but can't hit for average. He'll be a career .260 hitter. Not good.
Ryan Garko-Turning into a decent first baseman. Always seems to be hitting above .300. No problems with the Gark-sauce.
Franklin Gutierrez-Supposed to be another five-tool talent, but I haven't seen it. Hitting below .200 on the year, and strikes out almost every at bat.
David Dellucci-Can't really hit. But neither can the guy who plays behind him...we're stuck with crap in left field.
Casey Blake-We really gave this bum over $6 million this year? He's absolute garbage. Probably the worst third baseman in the game right now.

Overall, 3 out of the 9 are good players. Sizemore, Hafner and Victor. The rest haven't shown me enough yet to be excited. But Garko is getting there.

Bench players:
Jamey Carroll-He's only played like two games, but has shown amazing range on defense, and seems to find a knack for getting on base. I can't complain about him--yet.
Kelly Shoppach-He can be Mr. Clutch every once in a while, but he's not the greatest catcher, and can't really hit.
Andy Marte-Hasn't proven himself for two years now...is he ever going to be decent?
Jason Michaels-He's hitting UNDER .100 this year! That's pathetic. I could do that.

Overall, one of the 4 is decent--and that's a stretch.

Total it all up, and what do we have? So far, we have 4 real good players, 4 fairly decent to good players, and 17 bums. I don't know how we didn't see this coming in the off-season.

Oh well...all we can do now is hope and pray they all start pitching, and hitting, and fielding, and just playing decent baseball. Otherwise, it's going to be a long season.

It's been awhile...

Damn, it's been almost a month since I was on here complaining about something. Well, I have plenty to complain about, so don't worry.

First up, the Cleveland Cavaliers. Man, this team is a J-O-K-E. If we have to play the Wizards in the first round, not only will we lose, but we'll probably get swept. This team is pathetic. Ever since that "big trade" went down, this team has been nothing short of terrible. LeBron looks like he's just going through the motions now, just waiting for the season to be over. Wally Szczerbiak is a damn clown, Ben Wallace is a bum, Joe Smith never plays, Damon Jones never gets playing time, Daniel Gibson sucks all of a sudden, Sasha Pavlovic is still garbage, Anderson Varejao is too busy flopping all over the place instead of actually playing, and Dwayne Jones shouldn't even be in the NBA. What's that leave us with? Delonte West, LeBron, and Big Z. Everyone else is crap. I find it very hard to believe that even with LeBron, this team will make it out of the first round.

Next up, the Cleveland Indians. Hey, C.C. Maybe you should have taken that big contract we offered you in the off-season. Not sure if you've noticed, but YOU SUCK. Two games pitched in, two games of getting ROCKED. And that non-existent offense? What the hell is that about?

Victor, please get healthy and come back ASAP. I can't take much more of Shoppach catching everyday. I know it's early, but we are better than a 3-3 baseball team so far.

Well, we can always count on Fausto, at least.

And Detroit? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 0-6? What happened to "the best offense Baseball has seen in almost 100 years"? I love it. Detroit still sucks.

Trade Grade Time!

Well, it's been nearly a month since the Cavaliers made that "blockbuster" trade. Since I'm so incredibly bored, it's time to take a look at the new players, and grade them so far.

Delonte West: Let's see...he likes to play transition basketball, and is always pushing the floor on missed shots. He turns down too many shots and defers to LeBron a little too much, but once he gets enough confidence playing with LBJ, he'll stop doing that. He doesn't turn the ball over a lot, and makes a lot of hard passes look easy. He can shoot the ball, and he can block really well for a PG. Excellent FT%. Thumbs up for Mr. West.
Overall grade: A-.

Joe Smith: Doesn't play a ton of minutes, but is very productive on the boards when he is playing. Can really shoot it from the baseline, and can block a lot of shots. Good defender, but doesn't seem to want to pass the ball too much when he gets it. (Just like Drew Gooden).
Overall grade: B.

Ben Wallace: Only scoring about 5 PPG. Free throw shooting is terrible, but that's nothing new. In limited minutes, he gets a lot of rebounds. Averaging almost two blocks a game since coming to Cleveland, but on offense, he's terrible.
Overall grade: C+.

Wally Szczerbiak: The White Larry Hughes. Shooting less than 32% from the field, less than 31% from 3-ball land, and has less than 3-assists and rebounds a game. Pretty bad on defense, and commits too many fouls. He was brought in because he was a "shooter." Clearly, so far, that isn't the case.
Overall grade: F.

Well, there you have it. I like Delonte West. I like Joe Smith. I can tolerate Ben Wallace. I hate Wally Szczerbiak. I'd rather have Larry Hughes over that bum.

Hopefully he finds his shot...otherwise, it's gonna be a quick Playoff run for the Cavaliers.

Wally = White Larry.

No, seriously. Wally Szczerbiak is the white Larry Hughes. That's the only difference between them. I thought getting rid of Hughes was going to make us a much better team, because we'd lose the fact that he scores as many points a game as he takes shots. Then Wally Szczerbiak turned into the exact same person. He has taken around 11 shots a game since he came to Cleveland, and he is averaging 11 points a game. Hell, I'd rather have Larry Hughes. And no, I'm not being sarcastic. I truly mean it.

Yes, Larry "Silky Smooth" Hughes. I said it.

At least Hughes takes 20 shots a night, and will get you 20 points. At least Hughes can play defense. At least Hughes has a bunch of badass tattoos.

I understand that we didn't actually trade Hughes for Szczerbiak, but they were in the same deal.

I wish I had more things to complain about with the Cavs, but I just don't feel like it. We are still missing Sasha, Gibson, and Z. If we still suck when those three are back, then I'll be complaining my ass off.

One last thing...Joe Borowski STILL SUCKS. I know he had 45 saves last year, and was a big part of the Tribe getting as far as they did, but when you lead the league in saves, and the following year you're ranked 28th out of 30 closers, you're crap. I got a chance to watch the Indians spring training game a few days ago against Atlanta, and Borowski gave up 3 runs on 4 hits...in one inning.

Another stellar performance from clutch Borowski. I just hope he can hold on and save most of the games he comes into this season...otherwise, we're going to be in trouble.

Browns = Contenders?

No friggin' way. Over the past week, I have seen at least 20 articles on why the Browns could be the team to beat in the AFC North. On why the Colts, Pats, Steelers, Chargers better watch out for Cleveland. On how the Browns "could be Super Bowl contenders." Oh, the humanity.

This is the BROWNS we're talking about here.

Yes, the same Browns team that scored points at will last year, but also let the opposing teams score tons of points as well. Then we went out and got Corey Williams to help the D-line. Then we went out and got Shaun Rogers, another beast to help the D-line. Then we went out and got D-Stalls from New England. Stallworth will allow Braylon to run in single coverage more often, and if he's double covered, Stallworth and/or Winslow will be so wide open, it won't even be funny. Yes, this Browns offense is explosive.

It's funny, because at the beginning of last season, all the comments made were that the Browns were the worst team in the league, and would be lucky to win three games. Now, just a year later, all you see are comments like this:

Arguably no other “elite” team in the AFC added such an important piece (as Rogers). While New England was losing a bundle of free agents and teams like Indianapolis and San Diego were largely standing pat with their current rosters, Cleveland was building its argument as next season’s Super Bowl dark horse.

I never thought I'd see the day that people were actually saying the Browns could be not only a good team, but a Super Bowl dark horse. Damn, I've never been so excited about a football season in a long time. And it's only March.

Now, onto one other thing. Remember that LeBron guy? He went off--AGAIN--last night at MSG, with 50 points, 10 assists and 8 rebounds. He got a standing ovation, and chants of M-V-P! at the end of the game...and this was a road game. How many times does that happen? Kobe, you're a great player, but you're not the MVP this year. LBJ is.

Then, after the game I heard something that really got me happy....

James on whether he's ever thought of leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers: ''You don't think about it. I am in a great situation. I am home, my family gets to see me play, the organization has been nothing but great to me. I have no reason to think about going anywhere else at this point.''

Please, LeBron. Stay in Cleveland. We love you. Don't leave us for Brooklyn in a few years to play for the Nets. Stick around. Break the Cleveland curse. Win some championships.

Thank you, Brett Favre.

Ever since I can remember, I've always seen Brett Favre play. He never missed a game. Before I realized what Cleveland sports meant to me, Brett Favre was my idol. He was THE MAN. That gunslinger approach, always going out and playing like a kid in his backyard. Brett Favre just looked like he really loved the game of football. Money didn't matter to him, just playing the game he loved so much was enough. Today, Brett Favre announced his retirement from the NFL, going out the way all superstars should--on top. No, he didn't win the Super Bowl, and yes, his last throw was an interception, but he's going out having had one of the best seasons of his career, and turning around a Green Bay Packers team not many gave a chance going into the season.

There are so many memories that come to mind when I think about Brett. Him running around the field in Super Bowl 31 after he finally got the Lombardi Trophy, him breaking Marino's record for TD passes, that Monday night game at Denver last year where he threw an 81-yard TD on the opening play of overtime. But the one that sticks out the most is the Monday Night game in Oakland against the Raiders on December 22, 2003. Brett had lost his closest friend, his father Irv unexpectedly to a heart attack the day before. I remember there being talk that he might not play that night, but he did--and he was incredible. I remember his wide receivers catching ANYTHING that came anywhere remotely close to them. I remember seeing his wife DeAnna up in a suite with their kids watching with tears in their eyes. I remember Brett in his interview after the game. That is the one thing that I'll always remember about Brett Favre. What a family man he was, what a great teammate he was, and what a great all-around person he became.



I remember reading an article in SI not too long ago about what Brett Favre means to the city of Green Bay, Wisconsin. It was pretty amazing to see how much he's loved up there. I can't even imagine what all of those people are going through today.

Favre played for 17 seasons, and never missed a start. He played every game like it was his last, and with his heart on his sleeve. Brett Favre changed the NFL in his own way. He brought on so many new fans with the way he played. There are millions of kids who play little-league football, backyard football, JV football, high-school football, etc. because of Brett Favre. Not because of anyone else.

Brett Favre is an icon, and I can't imagine what it's gonna be like next year not seeing that #4 in the Green Bay huddle. The Hall of Fame is waiting for you, Brett.

Thanks for all the great memories.

Damnit, Michael Redd.

Are you kidding me? A fade away-three with someone guarding you up in your face from 38-feet? And even worse, nothing but net. Why is it that whenever someone is born and raised in Ohio he has to kill a Cleveland team every time they play them? It's not fair.

It's a shame that Boston has to face Cleveland tonight, because LeBron is still gonna be quite pissed from what happened at the end of last nights game. Sucks for Boston.

But enough about basketball...tomorrow Spring Training officially gets underway for the Tribe! Preseason game number one tomorrow afternoon down in Florida. I know it means nothing, and bums will play most of the game, but still....BASEBALL IS BACK!

Praise the Lord.

GO CAVS! BEAT BOSTON!!

A trade? No way!

Well, at exactly 3 p.m. today, Danny Ferry pulled off a pretty big trade, right at the deadline, for the Cleveland Cavaliers. It's not exactly one that people are going crazy over, but it's a damn good one, even though it might not seem like it. Let me explain all the good things that come from this trade.1. Larry Hughes is gone.
2. Drew Gooden and his worthlessness is gone.
3. We got rid of 6 guys, four of which (Hughes, Marsh, Gooden, Simmons) had long-term contracts.
4. We received four guys, with only one having a contract past next year.
5. We cleared up a ton of cap room for the 2009 free agent market.
6. The 2009 free agent market has Michael Redd, Antawn Jamison, Elton Brand and Gilbert Arenas in it, among others.
7. Ben Wallace will give us the defensive presence that Gooden can't. Ben Wallace can shut down KG in the playoffs.
8. Wally Szczerbiak can really shoot the ball when he's open. Which LeBron will provide him many open shots.
9. Donyell Marshall is terrible, and he's gone.
10. Joe Smith is another big man that will help with rebounding, plus, he isn't a bad scorer.
11. Ben Wallace has a pretty damn sweet 'fro.
And lastly...
12. Larry Hughes is GONE!

All in all, a pretty good day for the Cavaliers. LeBron should be happy with what went down.

Also, the Browns signed Jamal Lewis to a 3-year deal, so that's more good news.

It should be interesting to see who suits up tomorrow night against the Wizards. As of right now, we only have 6 guys on the active roster. (LeBron, Damon Jones, Devin Brown, Z, Dwayne Jones and Eric Snow.) The league requires eight players to suit up for a game, so hopefully the Chicago guys can get here in time. If not, I hear Ron Mercer is available.

Until next time.

16 hours left...

These next 16 hours could very well determine whether or not LeBron leaves in 2 years. He's made it pretty clear that he wants to win, and he wants to win NOW. Well Danny Ferry, you now have 15 hours and 50 minutes until the trade deadline. Hopefully he works a deal that makes LeBron want to stick around, and hopefully it's for someone who can shoot the damn ball.

According to BW, beat writer for the Akron-Beacon Journal, there's the potential for a blockbuster trade, and it's for someone no one would expect....here are his exact words:

Folks, I have not watched a second of the first half as I pursue some hot trade rumors with the Cavs. They are being very active and are in talks over a blockbuster that has not been reported yet. It does not involve Mike Miller. More to come later. So this will surely disappoint some of you and also anger some of you, but I cannot yet say what player the Cavs are considering making a deal for. I have to protect sources. But I can tell you that I have talked to two different people in different organizations that have confirmed the talks are serious. I know you want more, but I just can’t give it to you at this point. I am not trying to build up ratings here, I am reporting what I can report. Just know that Danny Ferry is serious about trying to upgrade the roster. Whether or not it gets done though is up in the air. Here is what I can tell you, it is a trade that would change the dynamic somewhat of how the Cavs play but not directly affect the way LeBron James plays. Also, if this deal goes through, it would potentially allow the Cavs to make another deal.

Stay tuned....please Danny Ferry, we all want a Championship!

MVP 2.0

Did any of you watch the NBA All-Star Game? Yea, me neither. It's not that real to me. But I did catch the highlights, and I did catch ANOTHER Cavalier winning ANOTHER MVP award. This time it was that LeBron guy. He only played a little more than a half, but still managed to drop 27 points, 8 rebounds, and 9 assists. Oh, and the dunk of the year.

He only dunked over four--YES, FOUR Western Conference All-Stars. At the same time. Dirk, Duncan, Chris Paul, and Brandon Roy all got posterized. On the same dunk.

He only did that because Duncan was there. The other three were just spectators in the way. You see, the Spurs made LeBron mad (see post from Valentines Day). And Tim Duncan just happens to play for the Spurs. LeBron couldn't think of a better way to start his revenge towards them than by dunking over Duncan, and making him look like a fool.

So it looks like the Houston Rockets are on a tear, winning--I think--something like 13 of their last 15 games. Luckily for my Cavaliers, they come to town tomorrow night. It's a shame that they are going to get humiliated when Larry Hughes has another one of those games he only has 3 times a year. Plus, Daniel Gibson was born in Houston. He's got a good enough reason to want to smack them around, since they passed on drafting him--not once, but twice!

One more thing on the agenda today, folks. SPRING TRAINING IS OFFICIALLY UNDER WAY!

Thank God. I'm sick of having to talk about the Cavs and their dominating ways all the time. Baseball can't come soon enough!

Shoot Boobie Shoot!

Did you happen to catch the T-Mobile Rookie/Sophomores Game on TNT tonight? If you missed it, you missed a performance by the Cleveland Cavaliers own Daniel "Boobie" Gibson that was incredible. Boobie finally got to show the world outside of us Cleveland fans that he's a monster. He finished the game with 33 points, on 11-20 shooting from 3-point range. He's just getting himself warmed up for the Three-Point Shootout tomorrow night.

Gibson has one of the sweetest strokes in the NBA, if not the sweetest. Hopefully Mike Brown was watching tonight, and will finally give Gibson more opportunities to shoot the ball in games.

Did I mention he was named MVP?

Be prepared for part two of the Daniel Gibson show tomorrow night at 8:00. I suggest you all tune in, because Boobie is going to put on a clinic. Again.

Manu, I hate the Spurs.

I hate Manu Ginobili. I hate Tim Duncan always looking for a foul every shot he takes. I hate the way Gregg Popovich looks. I hate Tony Parker because he's married to Eva Longoria. I hate Bruce Bowen and his Mr. Ed-like features. I hate how the Spurs always suck for the first three quarters, but still win games. I hate how the Spurs made my Cavaliers look like dog-poop in the NBA Finals last year.

I HATE the San Antonio Spurs.

Hate might even be an understatement. I despise them. I mean, come on San Antonio. Larry Hughes played GOOD. Again. And you couldn't just let us win? Hughes plays good three times a year, and you bastards had to ruin one of those games. Damn you, Spurs. Damn you all.

Now we head into the All-Star break with a loss to those hated Spurs. Yay! You know what, though? At the end of the game, when Manu was hitting fadeaway three after fadeaway three, you, San Antonio Spurs, did one thing. YOU made TheBron mad. That probably wasn't the smartest thing to do. You can bet your San Antonio asses that the next time you see LeBron, he's gonna be in that extra gear he only busts out once or twice a season.

Ask Detroit in Game 5 what that's like. Or, ask Toronto or Portland, when LeBron kicked it into overdrive because some fans were talking smack to him. You, San Antonio, are next.

Hope to God you don't make it to the Finals this year. Because if you do, there's no doubt you'll be seeing the Cavs there. And guess what, San Antonio? LeBron will be in fifth gear the entire series. All because you had to go out and make him mad last night. See chart to the left.

Happy Valentines Day, San Antonio. You successfully made TheBron mad.

Letter to the Nets...

Dear Rod Thorn,

The NBA trade deadline is on February 21st, which leaves you just 9 days to make a deal. I know you normally don’t answer phone calls from Danny Ferry, but I urge you to take his next call. It might just change the future of the Nets franchise and the World as we know it.

Let’s face it, your Nets are a rebuilding team. With a record of 22-29, you’re barely in the playoff hunt and nobody thinks you have a chance to advance past the first round. Your stars are getting old, the chemistry is a mess, and this team is going nowhere.

But Danny Ferry could change all of that.

If you watched the Cavs-Magic game last night, you witnessed the future of the Nets franchise. The futures name is Larry Hughes. Larry is a 40-point-scorer. He’s a slasher. He even has tattoos - very cool tattoos of tough things that give him street-cred. And 3 years ago, when he played for the Wizards, Larry had a lot of steals. THOUSANDS OF STEALS. More steals than any player every recorded in the history of the NBA. You like steals, don’t you Rod?

It’s time to admit that Jason Kidd is a bad shooter. How bad? He’s only shooting 37% from the field this season. Yes, 37%! And if the season ended today, Jason Kidd would have the lowest shooting percentage of any player in the history of the NBA. That’s a fact - look it up.

And what do you pay this guy who is the worst shooter in the history of the NBA? $20 million a year? Are you crazy? It must be hard to show your face in public. But Danny Ferry could change all of that. Because if you ask nicely, Danny might give you the young and talented Larry Hughes for the crappy old guy you call Jason Kidd. And because Larry is so affordable, you get him PLUS another player!

Think I’m crazy? Fine. But before you click away, check out the head-to-head statistics for Larry versus Jason Kidd:

AGE
Jason Kidd: 34
Larry Hughes: 29
Advantage: LARRY HUGHES
At 34 years old, Kidd is older than Robert Parish when he was 33 and got traded. And we all know that Robert Parish sucked.

TATTOOS
Jason Kidd: unknown
Larry Hughes: More than 15, including ones with skulls and bad-ass religious passages.
Advantage: LARRY HUGHES

WEIGHT
Jason Kidd: 210
Larry Hughes: 184
Advantage: LARRY HUGHES
This is basketball, not Sumo wrestling! And all of that extra weight means more jet fuel for the team’s charter. Larry is not only skinnier, he’ll save you gas money. Think about the total cost of ownership!

POLICE RECORD
Jason Kidd: Yes. See mug shot on Google.
Larry Hughes: unknown.
Advantage: LARRY HUGHES

NICKNAME
Jason Kidd: Mr. Triple Double
Larry Hughes: Smooth
Advantage: LARRY HUGHES
WTF is a triple double? I have no clue, but that nickname is way too long. Smooth is easier to pronounce and it will cost less to get it as a tattoo.

STEALS
Jason Kidd: Occasionally
Larry Hughes: 3 years ago in Washington, Larry broke the all time steal record for planet Earth by averaging 12 steals a game. That’s right, 12. You don’t need to look it up - just ask any Cavs fan about Larry Hughes’ defense. And he broke the record while playing one-handed. And halfway through the season, he stopped trying to get steals because it was just too easy. This record will never be broken. Ever.
Advantage: LARRY HUGHES

OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALS
Jason Kidd: 1
Larry Hughes: unknown
Advantage: Not Applicable.
Rod, are you the GM of the Team USA or the New Jersey Nets? That’s what I thought. Kidd needs to stop re-living the past and realize that gold medals don’t mean a damn!

POINTS SCORED ON FEBRUARY 11, 2008
Jason Kidd: Zero, zilch, none. That just shows you how far Jason Kidd has fallen. He scored zero points last night!
Larry Hughes: 40
Advantage: LARRY HUGHES

HEROIC COMEBACKS FROM INJURY THIS SEASON
Jason Kidd: Zero
Larry Hughes: 2+. Larry has overcome a bone bruise, a stubbed toe, and many other minor injuries. These comebacks build character. And when Larry gets injured in the playoffs, you can bet your ass he will make a heroic comeback after he is healed!
Advantage: LARRY HUGHES

HEIGHT
Jason Kidd: 6-4
Larry Hughes: 6-5
Advantage: LARRY HUGHES
Have you ever heard the expression “you can’t teach height?” Well you can’t! And Jason Kidd will never learn to be 6-5!

FINAL SCORE
Jason Kidd: 0
Larry Hughes: 9
Winner: LARRY HUGHES

Rod, it’s simple. Jason Kidd sucks. Larry Hughes is awesome. Are you going to save the franchise, or are you going to sit back and watch Larry Hughes lead the Cleveland Cavaliers to 10 consecutive championships?

Sincerely,

Believeland's resident writer.

Haters!

I'm sitting here, trying to enjoy listening to my iPod, when I come across an article by Skip "Brainless" about LeBron James. This, minutes after I get done arguing with a Michigan fan about how my Buckeyes are better. The numbers don't lie, people. Get over it. Michigan CAN NOT beat Ohio State.

But back to my boy, Skipper. I swear to God Skip Bayless hates Cleveland, and hates LeBron even more. All he ever does is talk smack on them. Why? Who knows. He's a hater. He mentions that even though LeBron dropped 51 on Memphis Tuesday night, he's still not "that good." Really? He is AVERAGING 30 points, 8 assists, and 7 rebounds a game. Yea, you're right, Skip. He's crap. Skip goes on to say that he'll do a hula-dance on top of a table on Cold Pizza if LeBron ever hits a game winner. Hey Skip, did you already forget about those two he hit against Detroit in last year's Eastern Conference Finals? Or the three straight games he hit buzzer-beaters in the 2006 Playoffs against Washington? Or that game-winning three he hit against New Orleans last season? What about that game winning fade against New Jersey two years ago?

You know, it's funny that I seem to remember all of those rather vaguely. Skip can't though? Hey Skip, I have one thing to say to you...KEEP HATING! It's only gonna make LeBron better. Hate all you want.

Speaking of hating, I hate the San Antonio Spurs for what they did to my Cavaliers in the NBA Finals last season. Good thing LeBron and co. are coming to town! Hopefully the Cavs can pull out a win in SA tonight. Until then, maybe I can find some reruns of Saved By The Bell or Degrassi to pass the time. Later folks.

It's rough.

Honestly, people outside of Cleveland sports really don't know what it's like to be truly tortured every season of your life. Regardless of the sport, the outcome is always the same. Disappointment. Heartbreak. Suicide watch. You get the idea. Cleveland hasn't had a professional sports championship since the 1964 Browns. Yea, that's 44 years for those counting. The Indians? Not since '48. The Cavaliers? Never. I say this to everyone out there who's a fan of any team in any city besides Cleveland--you're lucky. No matter what you say about your city, Cleveland's got you beat. Let's take a trip down memory lane.

The Indians. Great team...great misery. 1948 was the last time they won a World Series. Thats 60 years this season. Hey, at least we made it to the World Series in 1995 and 1997. Yea, but we didn't win. 1995 the Atlanta Braves stomped us. 1997 we had the lead in the Bottom of the 9th in Game 7. Then came Jose Mesa. Blew the save, blew the game, blew the Series. Heartbreak. How about this year? Win the Central by 8 games, kill those hated Bronx Bombers in the Divisional Series, and go up 3-games-to-1 on the Boston Red Sox in the ALCS. For once in my life, I thought right then that we were not just going to make it, but we were going to win the World Series. There wasn't a doubt in my mind. Win one of three from Boston, and go to Colorado and crush them. But, Boston saw things differently and won all three games. More heartbreak. There's always next year, right?

The Browns. Where do I start? They were the most dominant team of any decade back in the 1950's and 1960's. 8 Championships in 17 years. Then came along that thing called the Super Bowl. 42 Super Bowls later, my Brownies have never been to one. I'm sure you remember John Elway and The Drive? Or the next season with Earnest Byner's Fumble? Yep, two AFC Championship games, two stunning, heartbreaking defeats to the Denver Broncos. How about 1994? Art Modell decides he's going to move the team to Baltimore. We lost our own football team because our owner was a jackass. More heartbreak. Thank God for Al Learner and his family for keeping the heritage and bringing them back in 1999. Then came the realization that the team we had was terrible. Awful. Pathetic. Wouldn't-beat-Kent State-bad. Then, finally, in 2007 it looked as if we finally had a team that was good, which we do. Only problem? More heartbreak. We finished the season at 10-6, a record not even us Cleveland fans thought was possible. All we needed to happen was have the 13-2 Colts beat the 9-6 Titans. Did I mention heartbreak? Yea, of course the Titans won, and the Browns were left out in the cold. There's always next year, right?

The Cavaliers. Where do I start? Last Championship--Never. The team was so bad in the late 90's-early 00's that the Gund was lucky if 6,000 people showed up for a game. The team was pathetic. But then, for a small moment, there was a glimmer of hope. The Cleveland Cavaliers ping-pong ball bounced the right way, and we got the first pick in the 2003 Draft. You see, there was this kid named LeBron in that draft. That was the best thing to ever happen to Cleveland sports, and now the Cavs are once again an elite basketball team. They just can't win a Championship. Last season, LeBron led the Cavs all the way to the NBA Finals--only to get swept by the San Antonio Spurs. More heartbreak. Oh well, there's always next year, right?

So the next time you think your city has it bad, think about Cleveland. It will remind you that you really don't have it that bad. We do.

Welcome to Believeland, and enjoy the ride folks.